Tuesday, December 28, 2010

To Children's Success and Understanding Their Desires

We have heard stories of children shying away or keeping to themselves and not wanting to try or speak their views and their performance in school or sports are weak. Could we as adults help our children towards the path of success, whatever that definition might be?

This is not only applicable in school or on the field or at home but in the kitchen as well. It applies to everything that our children do and any environment that he or she is in.

Praise works with children all the time. Critism must be done properly. Children are not adults. And even adults cannot take critism, a lot of the time!

Child Psychology Giclee Poster Print by Norman Rockwell, 12x14

I picked up some of these tips and have summarised them below. It would be great if you can provide your views and comments on them or if you have other lessons that adults can learn from.

Tip 1
Think before we speak - as parents, we tend to be impulsive when it comes to analysing our kids behaviour. I am so guilty of these. I presume and assume. CONSIDER OUR KIDS' FEELINGS BEFORE TALKING.

Tip 2
Wait before speaking - Cool down before commenting on our child's performance

Tip 3
Displine when needed. Don't allow kids to get away with inappopriate behaviour. My young son had spoken rudely to one of my adult cousins. I made my son call him later in the day and apologize. If we as parents dont displine our children appopriately, nobody else will. Even teachers give up after some time.

Tip 4
Smile before speaking. A smile reduces tension and allows everyone to ease and listen.

Tip 5
Think long term before analysing and speaking - children have their own stressess. Some things are best not said. It create more harm than good. Or pick another time to say it.

Tip 6
Praise before analysing and offering critism. Praise is so important for a child.

Tip 7
Teach the importance of hard work and practice. Personally, i use my own's children's experience to do this. I tell them to compare their results (whether its the exams, or piano or games) as when they practiced and worked hard and when they did not. Which all means that they can do it.

Tip 8
Separate results from effort. Dont be negative if the results is not the outcome of the effort. Continue to praise. Results can be unpredictable.

Tip 9
Be honest but compassionate. No false praises

Tip 10
Listen and Look. Kids say as much with their expressions and actions as they do with their voices. Parents who pay attention will understand their kids better and real desires.

Create this environment in the kitchen
It would raise our kids confidence, reduce anxiety and places them in the path of success.

These are 2 great books to understand what children are all about and what to do.

Understanding Your Child's Puzzling Behavior: A Guide for Parents of Children with Behavioral, Social, and Learning ChallengesUnderstanding Children's Development (Basic Psychology)
Click to Understand Children's Behaviour

Happy Teaching and Cooking!

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