How To Build Confidence In Our Children

Children require love and affection.

I am so grateful for my children. I thank God everyday for giving them to me. How many of us as parents feel horrible and guilty when we have to reprimand or scold them or show them our temper for something that happened at the office and with other parts of lives.

I read a very good article today on building confidence in children and I thought to share some thoughts on it.

Building children's confidence at a young age will make a big difference as they grow up into adults. It will help them preserve in troubled times. We have heard and read so many stories and statistics of people being bullied, spoken down to, abused both emotionally and physically as a child growing up to adults who struggle in their daily lives. Some unfortunately turn bad and the cycle continues.

If we decide to bring children into this world, I think there should be a few ground rules. Love and respect them. Teach them, listen to them and help them understand and at the same time learn and listen what they have to teach and say. It is perhaps easier said than done – but they are our children – we must.

Building confidence is a daily practice and can be simple activities.


1. Start with small activities
2. Slowly graduate to bigger activities
3. Break down activities
4. Ensure it is appropriate to their age and capability
5. Don’t overwhelm them or it would have the reverse effect
6. Give them room to make mistakes
7. Learn from children

Small Things Mean Big Things to a Child

Start with activities at home – we can achieve lots i. build confidence in our children 2. Develop small muscles; 3. Develop motor coordination

Home activities can include

1. Spreading butter or jam on bread – how often we hear parents say no to this because children will make a mess – I say let them!

2. Kitchen – I am strong advocate of children helping in the kitchen – depending on their age

a. Hand kitchen items or cooking ingredients to you
b. Assist you in baking and cooking – there are lots of activities in this blog where children get involved
c. Cleaning the kitchen and home
d. Putting away things after cooking – washing up.

3. Pouring liquid

4. Lace their shoes

5. Watering the plants


Play Games in the Kitchen

Games of course by itself is a tremendous self esteem booster – play a problem solving game and let him think about solutions (help him and never ridicule or laugh at your child)

The kitchen is an extremely great place to give him to confidence. Ask your child about the particular cooking activity – e.g. how much sugar/salt should we put in; what is half a packet; let see who picks a green vegetable faster; quizzes as you are cooking.

Create a ‘cooking problem’ and find a solution with the kitchen. Make it up depending on the age of your child.

Breaking it down

We should break down tasks so that it would not seem daunting for our kids. He will lose interest and tell himself that he can’t do it.

For example, don’t tell him to bake a whole cake by himself. Take him through the process. And he will also realize the achievements for each task.

Praise Effort

This probably should have been number 1. Praise them all the time – direct them towards to the task – be specific.


Words of wisdom from a very learned person I know:


1. The Gift of Confidence is the Greatest Gift you can give your child
2. Love, Patience and Understanding are the best tools to build the foundation of confidence and self esteem
3. Mistakes are Opportunities to Learn – teach them how not to make the mistake again – there is no necessity to reprimand

I am so keen to hear your points of view. What do you think on the ideas on teaching and instilling confidence in children?

Mummy, Do Cookies Grow on Trees?

My younger boy, who is five, watched Tiger and Pooh some days ago. The episode was very entertaining and had the usual learning ideas that children should take away.

I can’t remember the exact details now, but Tiger found chocolate cookies ‘growing’ on an oak tree in the 100 acre wood and so everyone thought that the best way to have more cookies was to take one from that tree and plant it. And after some time, everybody should get their very own chocolate cookie tree!


Yesterday, as I was sending my son to school, he asked about cookies and how wonderful if he could have a chocolate cookie tree. He loves chocolate and suggested planting a cookie tree!

This gave me an idea that he should learn where cookies come from. It was about time I showed him and maybe along the way, he’ll learn a thing or two.

Here’s what I did:

1. Look for a simple chocolate chip cookie recipe

2. Next build a shopping list and go shopping for the ingredients

3. Start baking

4. While baking I showed my little one where flour comes from and salt and sugar and chocolate. If possible you either have your computer and the internet handy or prepare pictures beforehand. For older children (6 and above), slip in where the ingredients come from and how it gets here

This will take a bit of effort, a little homework on our part and also because he is not going to believe you immediately when you say that flour comes from wheat and sugar comes from sugar cane and so on.


Here’s a simple family recipe for chocolate chip cookies (I try to keep the recipes simple if the agenda is to teach my kids during that cooking time):

Shopping List

1 3/4 cups flour, 1/4 tsp salt, 3/4 tsp baking soda, 3/4 cups unsalted butter or margarine, 1/2 cup brown sugar, 1/2 cup granulated sugar, 1 egg, 1 tsp vanilla, 1 1/2cups chocolate chips (or more if you like) and of course one last ingredient which you can’t get from the store is lots of hugs and kisses.

You should get about 30 cookies from this recipe.

Directions:

Preheat oven to 375F



Place the butter, brown sugar and granulated sugar in a large bowl and beat until combined. Add egg and vanilla to the butter mixture and beat. In a smaller bowl, combine flour, salt and baking soda. Add the flour mixture to the butter mixture little at a time. (during this time, chat your kids). Get your kids to stir in the chocolate chips. Mold the cookies onto the cooking sheet. Let your kids enjoy this with their little hands – it will be their creation. Bake for 10 to 15 minutes 10. And of course, great time to tidy up and for kids to understand this part too and sharing the responsibility.

Teaching Kids Where Cookies Come From while Cooking is the Best Way to Teach Kids, Dont you think? And you get to eat your product too!

Experience Cooking with Kids - Memories Your Children will carry forever

I found through my kids that cooking is a great advantage and a powerful tool. Through cooking and being in the kitchen, they have gained confidence, developed language skills and their imagination.

These are pictures of a menu that my son came up with. He used ordinary stuff he found around the house – pictures of food from books and magazines and toy food and play money. He glued them to a note pad he found lying around and he presented it as his menu with vegetables, meat and fruit and the prices to go with it.

Over time, he also wrote a cookbook (with me to help). He decorated it himself and we wrote down the recipes – some were ours and some were from books. He was extremely proud of the cookbook because it was his creation and we were always referring to it to cook. We are slowly building on the cookbook with family recipes and recipes we pick up as we go along.

These are simple activities but fun and the children learn a lot;
- Have your kids work together to write a cookbookand let them decorate it as they like – use things from around the house – colored paper, perhaps a hard cover for the cover of the book, pencil colors and other stationery. They could also paste dried leaves, spices and other things from the kitchen. Don’t forget teaching also happens when they label them.

- Help your kids write a menu – have them decorate it. Let them have a go at what to serve – appetizers, main meal, and drinks and so on.

- Always also have a note book handy to copy recipes which you and your kids can later transfer to the family’s cookbook

These activities teach children:

(i) Language skills – Understanding, Reading and Writing

Children are exposed to vocabulary – the younger ones learn words. Flash cards are fine but it is nothing like showing them the real thing. Pictures tell a thousand words and it sticks. Example – What is this? This is butter.

Bigger children learn to put together words – make them read recipes and the instructions and at the same time start a recipe book. Allow them to be free with their imagination.

(ii) Help children understand the importance of instructions

Cooking is really about following directions. A step by step method allows children to understand the importance of following instructions and you can show them the implications/dangers/consequence of not following directions.

If you are cooking with more than 1 child – assign them tasks and accountabilities and at the same time encourage them to work together. Cooking is a great opportunity to reinforce. - Concepts like “sharing,” “cooperation,” and “taking turns.” which also prepares them for life.

(iii) Grow the kids confidence
One of the greatest gifts that a parent can give to their children is to instill confidence in them. Cooking is a wonderful tool. There is no need to spend money on courses and seminars and such. Allowing children to start and complete tasks and giving them responsibility builds their self esteem. Cooking is especially wonderful for shy or timid children - the whole cooking process and what goes into is real confidence booster.

Remind yourself of your objectives. Children will make mistakes and a mess, especially the first few times. Allow them – the cooking experience must be positive, fun and relaxed. Help them clean up. Turn everything they do into a learning experience. And if you are too tired to teach them or not in the mood– that’s ok too because your children are having fun WITH YOU. This experience will become memories which they will carry forever.